In order not to neglect the importance of flower arrangements or an expertly roasted pork tenderloin, ultimately few things are as important to the wedding experience as the DJ. Except maybe the bride.
Providing music lubrication to a multigenerational audience requires different skills than any other type of DJing. To learn the secrets that make grannies like millennials and millennials like grannies dance, we interviewed an anonymous group of seasoned wedding DJs about the strategies for keeping the dance floor moving. Read on and you’ll learn why the bride likely hates your “one more song” singing.
Wikimedia / Jobas
Table of Contents
85 percent of the guests have to know the song
DJs get out in the deep cuts, but weddings aren’t the place for B-sides (or for DJs who really get out). Even slightly less popular songs by famous artists will stall, so you can’t rely on Michael Jackson’s “Wanna Be Startin ‘Something” to actually start something.
Songs work best when they cross generations
Finding common ground between an 8-year-old kid and an 80-year-old aunt can be difficult, but these crossbreeds are the safest wedding backups. “Gold Digger” is a perfect example as it has a Ray Charles sample for the older folks and the younger crowd would enjoy the singing of the guy who blew Kim Kardashian away.
The genre should change with almost every song
The last thing a wedding DJ wants to do is give the guests reason to request a song. By moving quickly through genres and time periods, you are casting a wide web, the best chance of maintaining critical mass, and creating a shield against discomfort. Some DJs join this philosophy so relentlessly that they keep organizing their music libraries by the decade.
The greater good is more important than any individual (except the bride)
The aim is to have as many people as possible on the dance floor. This gets complicated when dealing with different demographics, as while a number of Motown songs can bring older couples down, they can cause you to lose the younger crowd that Smokey Robinson thinks is a trap producer.
Flickr / John Hope
The bride is the most important person on the dance floor
If she doesn’t feel it, you are doing something wrong. If she senses it, you are immune to criticism.
Inviting guests during the parents’ dances stacks the deck
Three minutes of father / daughter dancing can seem like an eternity. One pro DJ move is to ask the bride’s permission to invite others onto the dance floor towards the end of the song. It eases the tension, but most importantly gives the DJ a crowded dance floor where the action can begin.
Opening up with a quick song is not a good idea
After the formal dances, it’s intuitive to start the party with a bang, but no matter what you play, no one wants to be first on a dance floor. Based on the parents’ song, the pro-move consists of opening with a slow dance to prepare the ground.
Slow songs are a reset button
Slow songs freshen up the crowd when a floor loses momentum as someone’s wife or girlfriend always forces them to dance to “Unchained Melody” against their will.
Flickr / Mike Lewis
Older people are the easiest to loosen up, but the quickest to tire
“Going to dance” used to mean more than just a break between a sip of Red Bull vodka to dry off a stranger. Nostalgia for sock hopping and formal dancing and fully functional kneecaps isn’t as common in younger generations, so a good wedding DJ understands that this older crowd itches for a chance to break up like they used to. The opposite of this is that older crowds get tired faster. So it’s important to play in front of them early in the night.
Knowing your mother’s favorite song is an ace in the hole
A good DJ knows the bride and groom’s favorite dance songs, but a good DJ knows their parents’ songs too. Pro tip: It’s likely the “Cupid Shuffle”.
It is crucial to watch the people who are not dancing
Keeping an eye on the wallflowers is just as important as keeping an eye on the party animals. If there is a population group that is not having fun, it is a DJ’s responsibility to use whatever means necessary to get them onto the dance floor.
Lighting is important
If a room is too bright, people won’t dance. This is true in almost every DJ situation, and a wedding is no exception. You want a room to be as dark as possible, with the exception of some rotating colored LEDs to create a sense of movement.
Flickr / Jim Larrison
Requests are … grudgingly accepted
Weddings are a situation where DJs are forced to comply with requests, but most of the suggestions tend to be self-centered and detrimental to the entire dance floor. If there’s a day that it’s not about you, it’s this one. So before asking for a Tha Carter III polka or anything else, consider how it will affect the other guests. The DJ’s main responsibility towards the bride and groom is to keep the mood safe, no matter how hard the groom’s brother wants to prove that he is rapping “A Milli”.
There are a million tricks you can use to dodge bad requests
The best we heard was sending the applicant to the bride for approval.
DJs hate playing requests from your phone
Requests are considered much less likely to have to be streamed from a phone as any self-respecting DJ doesn’t trust crazy YouTube rips and LTE networks.
They don’t usually play dirty versions
Almost every pop song has a radio edit version with the swear words removed. Even if the bride and groom request the dirty version, it’s not worth pissing off Uncle Rick.
Flickr / Tony Alter
Being at the microphone yourself pays off
Most people are scared of speaking on a microphone, which makes the cheese-tailed wedding DJ stereotype even more hideous. When there is a need to operate the microphone, a little honesty and self-deprecation goes a long way in keeping a crowd on your side.
Guests notice when DJs don’t match the keys on the songs
Aligning the tempo of two songs so that they transition seamlessly is DJing 101, but playing songs with complementary musical key signatures is more difficult. Even if guests don’t know anything about music theory, they can tell when it sounds like someone slapping their hand on a piano or playing a chord.
There is always a backup plan
When a DJ is playing a song that he is not 100% sure about, the best thing to do is to believe that he has another hit ready to be mixed seconds later should it flop.
A two hour dance set should be the minimum
Depending on how much your guests love to dance and how fast your wedding is going, two hours should be the bare minimum. Everything else and even the best DJ will have a hard time pacing up and down their set.
Flickr / John Hope
Announcing the final song is key
People want to know that it’s their last chance to come down, but more importantly, it undercuts “one more song” chants. DJs hate these because the stop time doesn’t suit them: most venues have time restrictions so staff can pack and head home. You are also likely to annoy the bride and groom because most DJs have expensive overtime clauses in their contracts.
Not every crowd likes to dance
It’s a dirty secret, but some crowds just aren’t crazy about dancing. Contrary to popular belief, not every wedding turns a grandmother who turns her bra over her head to the “I Gotta Feeling” of the Black Eyed Peas.
You get what you pay for
A good DJ is like a sports car. You may not get all of the horsepower in a wedding context, but what’s under the hood still matters. Skills like beat matching and deeper musical knowledge aren’t that important, but they will set an expert DJ apart from an amateur who insists on the “chicken dance”. The dirty version.
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Dan Gentile works for Thrillist. He has put on multiple weddings and hopes his clients get what they paid for. Follow him to Earth, Wind & Fire at @Dannosphere.