It’s late evening at Pops as this week’s Riverdale begins, and Tabitha (Erinn Westbrook) and Jughead (Cole Sprouse) bond over their love for Duran Duran’s Hungry Just like the Wolf. Their dance appears to convey their shared sexual pressure to the floor. Tabitha kisses Jughead, and he kisses her again.
Glen couldn’t wait to dress earlier than having a dialog with Betty (Lili Reinhart) about what he has deliberate whereas he’s in Riverdale. Dude, you’re nonetheless in your bathrobe! Significantly, he appears like one of many McPoyle twins from It’s All the time Sunny in Philadelphia. I’m not the one one who thinks this, proper? The long-lost McPoyle triplet! When Betty mentions that she informed Jughead to satisfy them on the FBI workplace, Glen shoots her down. “It’s an official FBI investigation, no Jugheads allowed.” What about just one Jughead? Although to be truthful to Glen, Betty, I feel when you entered the FBI, you graduated away from involving your highschool buddies in fixing crimes.
The lengthy misplaced third McPoyle twin.
Glen desires to know extra about Betty’s dad. As a result of he’s an inspiration, Glen? Aka Trash Bag Killer! I don’t suppose I’ll suppose anybody else is the Trash Bag Killer till TBK is unmasked and confirmed to not be Glen. Even then, I’ll most likely nonetheless suppose it was a patsy getting unmasked à la Ned Leeds being revealed to be the Hobgoblin.
Weatherbee meets with Kevin (Casey Cott) and Archie (KJ Apa) to allow them to know the upcoming parent-teacher evening is make-or-break for Riverdale Excessive and needs them to steer excursions. It’s a make-or-break occasion, and these two are your go-to?
Veronica (Camila Mendes) calls her soon-to-be ex-husband to see if he signed the divorce papers. He hasn’t and doesn’t plan to. He does say “what we went by binds us for all times.” Wait, what? I don’t suppose he’s speaking in regards to the buying and selling flooring.
Cheryl (Madelaine Petsch) and Minerva frolic within the Thornhill Woods. Cheryl desires to point out off the contemporary maple sap however the buckets are empty. Nana Rose rambles on in regards to the curse (Nana Ramblin’ Rose?) and that they need to pray for deliverance.
Jughead’s agent calls to say that Pop Tradition Weekly desires to publish an excerpt from Jughead’s new e-book, however they need one thing extra sensational. His agent suggests channeling Steven King.
Hiram (Mark Consuelos) is upset with Reggie (Charles Melton). He feels betrayed, what with Reggie displaying as much as help the Riverdale Bulldogs throughout their sport with Stonewall final week. Reggie desires to get again in Hiram’s good graces, and we get info on what Hiram’s actual curiosity in Riverdale is. Hiram has been digging for palladium. The vein behind his jail is totally tapped so he desires to dig the vein below the Blossom Maple Groves. It feels like he desires to bankrupt Riverdale in order that he can strip mine the entire city.
Archie will get a go to from a military basic. The overall is nominating him for a silver eagle medal for his final mission. Archie doesn’t suppose he deserves it. However the basic is impressed with how Archie saved Jackson’s life, carrying him 14 miles on his personal again.
Betty and Glen pay attention by a bunch of tapes. In one of many tapes, Betty’s dad talks about connecting with girls on Ned’s Checklist which is similar approach girls on the Lonely Freeway simply exterior Riverdale made connections.
Man, these Riverdale Excessive Faculty youngsters did a superb job constructing Veronica’s retailer. Rating one for unpaid underage labor! As a substitute of sending over divorce papers, Chad despatched over spy images of Veronica and Archie kissing after the Riverdale Bulldogs sport. Oops. Perhaps when you recognize your husband is having you tailed usually, you don’t do the PDA a lot, Veronica?
Archie asks his Riverdale ROTC class what they might do in the event that they got an order they didn’t agree with. The overall who desires to offer him that medal is there and tells him he follows the order, however Archie says even generals may be flawed. Geez, Archie, simply settle for the medal or study to be even somewhat bit delicate.
Reggie visits Nana Rose and brings her a bouquet of roses. Simply how far is Reggie keen to go to get this land? Is it Nana Rose’s fortunate evening?
Alice will get a name. Juniper and Dagwood had an accident in school!
Tabitha is embarrassed about her kiss with Jughead and apologizes to him. When Jughead goes into all his baggage, together with being hung up on his highschool girlfriend breaking apart with him, she appears to don’t have any downside agreeing to simply being buddies.
Jughead wants a favor. He’s been having some severe author’s block and plans to do some shrooms to get by it. He desires Tabitha to observe him, however she’s not a fan of the concept.
A number of years in the past at a celebration on Marsha’s Winery, Veronica obtained drunk and wished Chad would die “and put me out of my distress of a wedding.” Wait, I assumed they have been solely married for a yr. She tells Archie in regards to the helicopter accident that adopted after that. Chad was on the stick. The following factor Veronica is aware of, she awakened in Columbia Presbyterian. She nonetheless carries across the guilt of wishing him useless, pondering that brought on the crash. Due to all this, she’s heading to New York to have in-person closure (learn: breakup intercourse) with Chad.
The twins pushed some youngsters down the steps in school. When Betty says the child may have died, the twins don’t present any emotion. Oh boy. There goes that serial killer gene once more!
Cheryl is pissed at Nana Rose. She bought the groves to Hiram by Reggie. Nana Rose says she was solely making an attempt to do away with the curse. At this level, Nana Rose shouldn’t be allowed to signal for a pizza supply, a lot much less promoting off the household maple farm.
Jughead calls his vendor within the metropolis, who’s all too completely happy to ship some magic mushrooms as much as Riverdale.
Archie will get a name from a NY Instances reporter who thinks Archie’s basic despatched him on a unclean mission. Ruh-roh Rarch!
Betty tells Glen about her niece and nephew. She’s anxious bout them. He’s approach too fast and desperate to need to meet them. When Betty questions his curiosity, Glen reveals her the paper he’s engaged on “Household of Darkness: Various Shows of the Serial Killer Gene within the Cooper Household Tree.” Wow, what a dick. It’s his dissertation. Betty tries to get his views so as, you recognize, the useless our bodies, extra individuals dying, however Glen’s like, “My paper!” the way in which Riverdale season 1 Archie was like, “My music!”
After this, Glen makes a transfer on Betty, which nets him a slap within the face. Yup, he’s positively TBK.
Archie visits Uncle Frank in jail and fills him in on Normal Taylor. Frank offers him some recommendation however then tells him one thing unusual is brewing right here within the jail.
Hiram is proud of Reggie once more for getting him the groves. “Savor tonight’s fireworks at my jail” Appears to be like like Uncle Frank was onto one thing. Cheryl interrupts them. She had Nana Rose declared senile a decade in the past and so they’ll by no means get her groves. Ha!
Jughead’s poisonous ex-girlfriend Jess reveals up at Pops. You’ll bear in mind her because the one who walked out on him again in New York. She’s the drug runner. She desires to do the mushrooms collectively. Tabitha interrupts saying she’s his new girlfriend. Say what? Oh, Tabitha is simply doing this to get Jess gone. Jughead asks Jess to identify him the $500 for the shrooms. Geez, medicine are costly, and perhaps Jughead ought to discover different methods to get by his author’s block. Amazingly, his ex agrees to identify him the money for per week.
In Manhattan, Chad has a candlelit dinner ready at house for Veronica. He reminisces about after they didn’t have furnishings and had Chinese language takeout by candlelight. As if these two have ever been poor. Give me a break. Chad desires to win her again.
Tabitha cooks the shrooms right into a sauce and serves it to Jughead on a burger in Dilton’s bunker. He says she doesn’t have to remain the entire time, which is bizarre as a result of going backwards and forwards to this dank spot within the woods feels like not a enjoyable evening, particularly with a killer on the unfastened.
Chad fills dinner with enjoyable reminiscences, together with enjoying their wedding ceremony music. They dance collectively. Veronica asks him in regards to the evening of the accident – did he crash on objective? Even when he did, would he say sure? Chad says he signed the papers. They kiss. What a bizarre turn-on for Veronica to have. You signed our divorce papers? Let’s do it!
Hiram Lodge watches a counter rely all the way down to a gap being blown in his jail’s wall. Prisoners pour out, together with Penelope Blossom, Cheryl’s mother. Whereas this occurs, Reggie douses the maple grove in gasoline and lights it up.
At parent-teacher evening, the college loses energy in the course of Archie and Reggie’s tour. For no matter motive, the final determined to be on the tour.
On the Cooper home, Charles Cooper, nonetheless in his jail orange, reveals up for Juniper and Dagwood’s birthday. He introduced Stylish with him. Betty, get your gun.
Alice tells Betty she’s been visiting Charles in jail over time. Stylish and Charles each take out their shiny new weapons and present them to the twins, who look fascinated. Charles and Stylish need to get married with their household current. When Betty says “How? You don’t actually have a minister,” Alice says that Charles had her get ordained on-line in order that she may marry them in jail. However to me, what’s actually wonderful is that that is the place Betty’s thoughts went. “Ah ha! And the way will you two escaped cons get married with no minister? Reply that riddle!” I’m shocked she didn’t observe that up asking if that they had the mandatory paperwork and licenses filed.
Archie will get attacked by a jail escapee at his faculty. Archie lays him out. A bunch of escapees is within the halls. Why would they arrive right here? I’m guessing Lodge paid them to. One holds a gun to the tour group and calls for their valuables whereas Archie fights one other within the corridor. The prisoner tosses Archie round like a sack of dust. However Archie will get the higher of him and takes down the one holding the gun too. Archie offers Kevin a machete to maintain everybody secure whereas he and the final barricade the room.
Alice marries Stylish and Charles in her front room. She was ordained by the Common Life Church. They couldn’t make up one thing right here? The one time they don’t change one thing actual to one thing that sounds similar to it! No Galactic Dwelling Church? Why am I aggravated? *I’m* ordained by the Common Life Church (and I’m a Jedi too! I’ve the paperwork). Glen knocks on the door, which surprises even Betty. Charles is aware of Glen. How? Oh, they have been within the academy collectively. I assumed Glen was within the academy with Betty? Simply how lengthy has Glen been within the academy? Quantico has tremendous seniors?
Uncle Frank reveals up and tells Archie he overheard prisoners speaking about being paid by Hiram Lodge to trash the college and city. Uncle Frank, have been you certainly one of them? You possibly can inform us…
Stylish and Charles lead the Cooper household by a sport of Pincushion Man. How do you play, you ask? It’s easy! Glen is the pincushion. Okay..? The pins are kitchen knives. Uh-huh… All of them take turns stabbing Glen, beginning with the youngest. Uh-oh.
Betty tries speaking Stylish and Charles out of getting the twins stab Glen, and Charles agrees. Betty can stab him as a substitute. Alice sends the youngsters upstairs. Betty whispers for Glen to belief her and stabs him, earlier than then throwing the knife at Stylish. Alice wrestles Charles’s gun away from him and shoots him. Betty must get Glen to a hospital however Alice is freaking out about capturing Charles. Man, the difficult mother-son relationship these two have!
Tabitha walks in on a unadorned, dancing Jughead. He desires to bop along with her. Nah, Jugs, she’s good. He says “Don’t be such a Betty.” By no means a good suggestion to name your new crush by your highschool ex’s identify. Tabitha handcuffs him to a chair, tells him to get again to writing, and says she’ll be again within the morning.
Jess, or a hallucination of her, reveals up providing to assist Jughead. Then Betty is there too. Appears to be like like that yep, that is only a hallucination. He hallucinates Betty apologizing to him for what she did senior yr. It could be humorous in the event that they minimize to actual Jughead simply drooling on himself, and peeing himself within the chair. Jughead hallucinates a practice coming at him. And a pig-tailed Mothwoman. Oooh, this isn’t a superb journey.
Penelope reveals up at Thornhill and alerts Cheryl to the burning groves. Nana Rose says the curse calls for all residing Blossoms should die until they sacrifice the interloper. Minerva realizes that’s her and books it. Penelope says they need to pray for the wind to divert the hearth. I’m unsure what this satanic altar they’re praying at is, but it surely works. A gale blows by.
Veronica slept with Chad and woke as much as divorce papers not signed. Basic Chad. He admits to an funding scheme he obtained caught up in. He’s deep within the gap, but additionally, he used her new jewellery retailer someway. He made the investments within the identify of her new jewellery retailer. Can he even try this? He says that in the event that they divorce, he’ll testify in opposition to her in courtroom about his personal soiled dealings.
Archie tells the final he gained’t settle for the commendation, saying if he trusted his instincts over his orders, his males would nonetheless be alive. The overall tells him he’s going to make him the hero of the scapegoat. I hope you’re recording this dialog, Archie.
Is the message right here, “Do medicine youngsters”?
Jughead wakes up the following day, someway freed from {the handcuffs}. How? Hallucination can’t choose locks. However he did get his writing executed, cowl web page included. Although he doesn’t look previous the duvet web page, so it’d simply be a canopy web page. Simply then, a lightweight shines down the hatch. Hey, Misplaced?
Step away from the sunshine, Jughead,
Archie will get a name. It’s Veronica. She breaks the information that she has to remain in New York.
Reggie and Hiram rejoice their evening of mischief.
Alice and Betty hear from Glen. He’s okay. Only a flesh wound, as Betty supposed. Charles is within the ICU however will survive. The FBI is transferring the Lonely Freeway case out of Riverdale and upstate to Derry, however Betty isn’t going to cease searching for Polly. Betty will get behind the wheel of a truck and takes off for the Lonely Freeway. The place did she get that truck? At what level does the FBI simply inform Betty she’s not within the FBI anymore?
Tabitha involves hatch, finds no Jughead, however a whole lot of blood. Simply how did Jughead get out of these cuffs? Fortunately there’s no hand on the ground, however that lovely cowl web page is roofed in blood!
